You Can Stop Drinking Now

We thought this may be of some interest, since many problem drinkers have had at least one alcoholic parent:

Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics:

1. Guess at what normal is.  We don’t recognize it when we see it.

2. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

3. Learned that it is intentions that count, not the behavior.

4. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

5. Judge ourselves without mercy.

6. Have very low self esteem.

7. Have difficulty having fun.  Never learned how to play.

8. Take ourselves too seriously – life is hard work.

9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation from others.  We can’t give it to ourselves.

10. Have difficulty forming intimate relationships.  The fear of abandonment is too great to allow us to ease into a relationship.

11. Overreact to situations which are beyond our control.  As a child, we had no control over changes that threatened our safety, security or survival.

12. Either super responsible or super irresponsible.  We can’t say no because of the need for approval.  We set no limits.  We are prime candidates for burn-out.  We have to get sick to break the cycle.

13. Have no sense of cooperation or working with others.  We are used to doing things alone and for ourselves.  We appear to be cooperative though.

14. Are extremely loyal to people who clearly do not deserve our loyalty.  As a result we devoted friends, employees, etc.  We learned from practice with alcoholic parents.

15. Are often impulsive.  Lock ourselves into a particular course of action without considering options or possible consequences.

16. Seek immediate rather than delayed gratification.  We learned as a child that if you wait for it, you don’t get it.

17. Become isolated and afraid of people and feel like we don’t belong.

18. Afraid of authority figures.

19. Frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

20. Become alcoholics ourselves or marry them or both.  Or, we found another compulsive personality with whom we could continue the kind of relationship we had with our alcoholic parent(s).

21. Live life as victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love, friendship, and career relationships.

22. Have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility.  It’s easier for us to be concerned with others than with ourselves.  This enables us to avoid looking too closely at our faults and at the responsibility we owe ourselves.

23. Feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves and don’t give in to others.

24. Keep choosing insecure relationships because they match our childhood relationship with alcoholic parents.

25. Having denied our feelings during our traumatic childhoods, we lost the ability to feel or express our feelings.  This includes good feelings such as joy and happiness.

26. As a result of our conditioning, we confuse love with pity, tending to love those we can rescue.

27. We are addicted to excitement, preferring constant turmoil to workable relationships.

 Naturally, you may not manifest every one of these characteristics.  Each person reacts in a different way.